"Do not open the back of this watch. Only a professional jeweler should," said the instructions that came with one of my digital watches, which uses solar power but nonetheless needs a special battery evey 10 years or so. "Hah," said I. "I'll change the battery myself." So after spending many minutes removing screws that are smaller than atomic particles," I got the back of the watch open. The battery, however, was clasped in place, and in attempting to unclasp it I sent the entire inside of the watch flying across the table. "No matter," thought I. I retrieved the core of the watch, replaced the battery, and screwed everything back together. It was then that I noticed that a couple of parts were left over. But, aha, it was showing the time. Just one problem: It was nowhere near the correct time and the buttons used to set the watch no longer function. So as long as I don't mind the displayed time being seven hours and 18 minutes earlier than it actually is, and the date being Saturday, Jan. 1, the watch is as good as new!
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Good thing I've got 199 other watches to choose from. Well, not 199 that actually work.
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I'm sure a shrink would have a field day with my timepiece obsession ("You appear concerned about the passing of time, Richard"). Ah, but what do they know.
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With Newsweek's redesign, I can't always tell the stories from the ads.
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