One month later ....

The reincarnated Boring File is a month old today. During that month, it has been published 26 times and the page has been called up several hundred times by people other than me.  Most of those page "hits," I suspect, were on purpose, although some people  must have wandered in here by accident, said "What is this crap?" and scooted right back out. I certainly didn't start this blog to make money, and that's a good thing. You remember Dialing for Dollars? Well, this is Blogging for Bupkes. In any event, I may continue a while longer in hopes of attracting more readers. Can't understand why everyone doesn't want to read  incoherent, yawn-inducing ramblings.

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Watching "Last Chance Harvey" starring Dustin Hoffman, it dawned on me that several male stars like Hoffman, Tom Cruise, Michael J. Fox and Alan Ladd are, or were , short guys. Maybe it's a compensation thing: Because of their small stature, they worked extra hard to reach great heights in their profession.

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The aforementioned Alan Ladd was so short (about 5 foot 5)  that movie sets were scaled down to make him look taller.

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And the aforementioned Michael J. Fox rates high on my list of good guys. Watch his TV special Thursday night to see what I mean.

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It's puzzlement time. The name of which pasta means "little tongues"?  (Answer Thursday.)

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Anna Quindlen, I will miss your Newsweek columns.

Toothsome thoughts

While in the dentist's chair yesterday, I told the hygienist that as our yard sale drew near, my wife was getting tense. "Getting tents is a good idea," she said, "because it might rain." I didn't correct her but chuckled inwardly. Then, as she tackled my teeth, my mind sailed back to when I was a boy and went to a cut-rate dentist, who would fill a tooth for about a tenth of what my current cleaning was going to cost. His stomach gurgled continually as he worked, but the price was right. I also thought that if I were to give a graduation speech, I would eliminate the baloney about reaching for the stars and say this: "Take care of your teeth, kids. You will look better and feel better and save scads of dollars over the decades." I imagine I would get a standing ovation.

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I remember toothpaste brands like Kolynos and Ipana. I remember chlorophyll toothpaste. I remember "miracle" ingredients like Gardol. I even remember tooth powder.

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The aforementioned yard sale is happening even as I write this. People are arriving in droves and buying in quantity. But why?

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Memo to Classmates.com: I don't care how many mystery people have signed my online guest book, I am not going to learn who they are by buying an automatically renewing membership.

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Blogs are contributing to the demise of literacy and fairness. (Fortunately, this blog contributes to nothing.)

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"There is no body fat in the Obama administration," writes a contributor who signs himself Rhyming Silver. He cites such physically fit administration members as Obama himself, Timothy Geitner, Peter Orszag, Emanuel Rahm, Arne Duncan, and Kathleen Sibelius. Then he drives his point home by noting, "Bill Richardson definitely wouldn't have fit in."

Is there anybody here?

They say there are 50 million blogs on the web. Do we really need 50 million and one? Probably not, but here I go into the blogosphere. Most blogs, it is said, are read by two people -- the author and his mother. My mother, bless her, is gone and I never read what I write. Ah, zero readership! So proud.

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Here's a brain-teaser: Picture an iPod (Classic or Nano). What is the only word on the front of the device? (Answer on Wednesday, April 8.)

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Speaking of iPods, I have a Classic, a Shuffle and a Touch. If only I could have stopped there. I also have so-called Chinese clones of a Shuffle and two generations of Nanos. But wait, there's more: I have a clone of an iPhone and a so-far non-existent iPhone Nano. I'm nuts, you see.

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Ya gotta love jelly beans. Quality jelly beans, that is.

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Today I helped my son buy a used car. Gee, but I hate car dealerships. And garages make two.